by Linda Meyerholz, MS, LMHC


Every day we read and hear about children being starved, imprisoned, and beaten to death. Spouses are used as punching bags, are shot at, stabbed and run over daily. Rape and incest are terrifyingly common in American society. No one is surprised to hear about a disgruntled employee shooting supervisors or co-workers to death. It is becoming tragically common for school children to kill teachers and classmates who anger them. Road rage is a common concern and most of us wonder if we'll end up on a slab in a morgue if we accidentally cut another driver off or if we fail to signal an upcoming turn or commit some other minor traffic infraction.

At some time in life, most of us will become a crime statistic. Victims of crime report universal feelings of helplessness and of being violated. Perpetrators of crimes are people who don't comprehend boundaries, individual rights or human feelings. They don't understand their own feelings and rights and they've never been taught what healthy boundaries are. We have arrived at this fearful place in human development because of decisions we've made as individuals, as nations and as a global society.

Please remember this: Criminals are the end result of societal and individual codependence. Slavery and domestic violence are the end results of codependent belief systems.

My life has contained a great deal of pain because the people I was born to were severely codependent. They knew no other way of living so I learned to live as my parents lived. Because I was raised by codependents, I raised my children in a state of codependency and their lives have been painful as a result. I regret having hurt the people I love most with all my heart. Today I work with families like the one I grew up in and the family I mothered.

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